seeing 'scry', just makes me feel so far away. technically i am. the absence of the 4 of you in my lives is immense. so many things i say nowadays have to be accompanied by explanations, backed up with history. starting afresh is tiring sometimes. i'm trying not to let the missing get me down. not the week before my birthday. my birthday has always been my special day (: whether or not ppl think it is, or make it so, to me, it is my day. as self-absorbed as it sounds. haha.

back home, i'd be bouncing with excitement in e week before my birthday. i'd be awaiting my family birthday dinner. planning my bday party with ppl. this yr, i'm taking a step back. i haven't even really thought of what i wanted. normally i'd have thought of this waaaay in advance, and put up my wishlist alr. but then again, most of e ppl reading this are far far away, and i doubt my wishlist would be of much use anyway :p a email/sms/letter will do..

i stare at the photos of people on my wall. day and night. i wonder if i'll go a full circle. and go back to where i was 5 years ago. after all i've seen here, all i want is the comfort you bring me. the warmth and security. i wonder if i asked again this time, will the answer be yes. the irony of it all.

i can't wait to head up to nottingham to see angie (: she's the only real comfort from home i have here.

: shan hu hai :: jay chou :